Law Tales #10: A Divorce Gone Wild

I had practicing law for about 4 years when I when to work for a real crazy guy. He had been an attorney for about 25 years and had been pretty successful. He was a regular TV commentator for local TV on big cases. He was flamboyant and loud. Let's call him Don.

Don told me he averaged $2,000,000 a year in revenue for previous 20 years. He usually had 1 or 2 associates, a few paralegals, etc., so his net was around a million a year. Don was beloved in the legal community and was the life of the party.

Don also had a few vices. Well, he had 4: drugs, alcohol, sex, and gambling. He was pretty functional for all that, but every once in awhile he would succumb to all at once. On those occasions I would suddenly find myself going to a divorce trial or criminal preliminary hearing on 30 minutes notice, that Don had planned to do. Sometimes these things ended up oddly, to say the least.

On one day I had this happen. I went to court on a custody trial for a client I had never met and only had 30 minutes to review the file.

And what a file. My client, let's call him Pat, was going through a divorce. His wife had secured a restraining order against Pat. It had I obviously been secured as a ploy to get the advantage in the divorce, as it was a really weak case.

Pat's work tools were in garage at the house and he broke into the garage after he was kicked out to secure his tools. This had all occurred prior to the custody hearing.

Pat didn't even show up for his custody hearing for the first 2 hours. I had almost nothing to throw against his wife. The judge was already against him because of the garage break in.

When Pat showed up, I asked for a quick recess to confer with my client. Pat said that his wife supported herself as a prostitute and turned tricks in the house while the kids were in the house. Wow, I thought. Even in our no fault state, this was something to help my client get 50/50 custody. Or at least a leg to stand on.

I tried to present testimony on this topic, but the judge wouldn't let me. I couldn't cross examine the wife or direct Pat related to this topic. I tried several times and risked sanctions. Maybe if my client had shown up on time and if he hadn't broken into the garage and maybe if it had been my case, things could have been different.

The judge ultimately award the wife primary custody with my client receiving reasonable visitation.

A month later was the rest of the divorce trial over property division and alimony and attorney’s fees. This time I knew it was my case and we prepared.

I asked my client for any proof that his wife was a prostitute. He finally admitted that he had paid her for sex since the separation. He even had the canceled checks.

I was a bit surprised that the wife would do this, but he had his proof. I decided on a way to use it.

The wife had also entered the marriage with about $30,000 in debt. Her attorney told her to run up another $30,000 in debt after separation, so that my client would be stuck with it. Something else I needed to deal with at the trial.

I set forth in my opening that the wife should get nothing from my client and that she already received more than enough. And then I put Pat on the stand and went through his canceled checks. I just asked him to identify the check and the amount and who it was written to, but not the purpose.He had paid her over $10,000 after separation for sex. He also testified about her coming into marriage with $30k in debt.

The wife came to the witness stand dressed to the 9s. She was wearing lots of jewelry and expensive clothes. When I asked her about the checks, she acknowledged the receipt of the funds, but stammered about the reason for the payment. I never asked if the checks were for sex. She never claimed the checks were for sex. She confirmed that she was a prostitute without ever being asked the question.

The judge figured out what I was doing. He decided to jump on board the train. He gave her all the debt, had each side be responsible for their own attorney’s fees, and denied the request for alimony. It was a huge win for my client. He was very happy.

I did find it hard to believe that he was paying her for sex during the divorce, but life is weird. She was so bitter and hateful to him at court. When I asked him about it, Pat just said that she was worth it. And that she was such a prostitute that she wouldn't turn down the money. I suspect he kept paying for sex with her and that she kept turning tricks at her house with the kids at home. Weird.