The Case of the Pirate's Horde

Lawyer Tales vol. 2

As a young lawyer I often took cases I should have avoided, especially when I opened my own office for a time. The how and why I will deal with later. Let's have a good story now.

Trying to start an office was weird and often I got desperate for work. One day I got a guy in the office with a tale. He told me he had been to 17 attorneys and he had no hope of winning. I had been practicing a little over 4 years and I had bills to pay. There was no way I was turning him away even if I thought he had a bad case.

The man told me that he and his ex wife had owned a jewelry business for 20 years. When they decided to divorce, they were afraid people would find out about there jewelry and rob them. They decided to do there own uncontested divorce. They didn't list the property and just listed that they divided the assets.

They divided up everything they could value themselves and then gathered up the remaining. They closed the blinds and put it on the table, a pirate's treasure of obscure items, some with alleged historical value. They created an inventory, but didn't sign or date it. It was just 4 pages.

They intended to travel together, each with half, to an auction house where an appraiser, let's call him Eric, friend worked. The goal was that he would place a value on each item, and if anyone disagreed, they would auction off the piece.

When it was time to go, the now ex-wife, let's call her Jane as I don't remember her name, told her ex, let's call him Mike, “I am traveling nearby anyway. I can just drop all this off with Eric and save you the journey.”

Mike trusted his now ex wife to do so. Six months later he called Eric for a status. Eric said he hadn't seen Jane in three years. Mike, for the first time, was worried. He called Jane and she told him, “You got everything you were entitled to in the divorce. There was no extra jewelry. If you call me again, I will file in court to hold you in contempt for harassment.” Talk about real gaslighting.

Mike was shocked. He called a second time and she filed with court. 17 attorneys told him no. And I had a trial in a few weeks over the issue. I am glad today I was young and foolish back then.

Oh, and Mike had told me that he estimated the value of the pirate’s horde to be about $ 5 million all told.

So I went to trial with my client and 4 pages, unsigned undated. So I had basically no good evidence.

Opposing counsel was a former judge, let's call her Lisa. I had appeared before when she was a judge. She was a tough short woman. I was a bit worried because she was very good. My mentor had dated her years earlier and so he gave me some tips. It was hard to picture them as an item.

Be bold when you can't do anything else. I put my client on the stand. I went over his story with him. We went through the list. Lisa cross-examined Mike. She pointed out that it was unsigned and undated. She pointed out it could have been from any time. She scored good points.

Then she put her client on the stand. She kept to her story. I crossed her hard. She validated the list as being a true list, but claimed it was older.

After closing arguments, I was very unsure of the case. It was a he said, she said. And the judge didn't like me. We had history.

The judge didn't wait to rule or take it under advisement. I noticed the bailiff walking around. The judge said, “I was a trial attorney for 20 years before I became a judge and have been a judge for almost 20 years. In my years I have seen people lie and people tell the truth, and ma'am, you are lying and are going to jail until you produce the jewelry.” He also awarded my client attorney’s fees much more than I had charged him. The bailiff immediately put Jane in handcuffs.

Lisa jumped up on her chair and started screaming and yelling. “THIS IS NOT JUSTICE!” etc. It was completely surreal.

I was on cloud 9. My client said, “Thanks so much. I couldn't have done it with out you. Keep whatever is above what you charged.”

Lisa filed an emergency appeal, which allowed Jane out of she posted some sort of cash bond. The judge set it at $150,000.

A month after the trial, I received a phone call from Lisa. She said that Jane's boyfriend had brought her a mountain of jewelry that Lisa had put in her safe deposit box. Would I stipulate to let Jane out if Lisa vouched for the jewelry? Sure.

I met Lisa at her bank. She was very apologetic. “I had no idea the jewelry was real and my client lied.” We took the jewelry back to her office.

Eric has flown in to take possession. And there was the pirate's horde. My client showed me different pieces on the list. “Here is this jeweled belt full of silver and gems. Here is this 7 carat diamond. Here is that pocket watch I told you about." Etc.

Eric was very impressed. Jane was unapologetic and unashamed. A month in jail might have gotten her to concede, but it didn't make her humble.

You might think my client was overjoyed by the outcome. His ex had been in jail for a month. The jewelry was all recovered. No one else but me gave his case a chance.

Instead, he told me as left Lisa's office, “You did a horrible job. I would have won without you. You did nothing for me. I want you to give me whatever is left from the fee award.”

I was shocked. I pulled out my checkbook and wrote him a check for $750. I was not shocked he had acted like this, as a professor in law school had warned us. I was shocked that it came true. The professor said, “Clients will come to you desperate. They will need you and trust you and love you. However, the day of the judgment will be the beginning of the end. They will start questioning you and doubting you. They will finally say, “I didn't need you. I could have done this without you.”

Sure enough, he was right.

I have thought a lot about this case ever since. I could have easily lost it. It wasn't a guarantee at all. And I wonder if the judge ruled in my client’s favor merely because he didn't like Lisa, who used to have offices next to our judge in the courthouse. Could be.

I tell potential clients these days that court will not solve their emotional issues even if they win. Even when vindicated by the judge, it just isn't enough.